It's important to know that you and your essential other are fully aligned to complete the process of bringing you back into your authentic energy and freeing you from the unconscious influences resulting from experiences you couldn't yet properly process and perhaps even resulting in traumas, wounds and insecurities. Thus, your protective mechanisms were established and you formed a vision of life that you came to regard as your truth. Your authentic self, your free and spontaneous self, was thereby repressed. The more intense and painful your experiences, and the younger and more defenceless you were when these impacts took place, the more persistent the survival mechanism and the more of your innocent self was lost in the process. After all, you were being punished for your natural expression by other people's inabilities. This produced the painful reactions that you no longer wanted to bring upon yourself. You learned that you were not allowed to be yourself, because this brought pain and sorrow. You learnt to be immensely adaptable and to exhibit those behaviours that made you feel safe. And so you became more and more removed from yourself. And when you thought you had everything just right, you met your essential other who unleashed a love in you that you had never experienced before.

THE PROCESS

Automatically, all expectations regarding love and the other were activated, expectations that were not met. After all, because of your own past, many of those expectations were based on filling a void and on the vision formed by fear and the need for recognition and acceptance instead of (self)love. And so your old wounds and insecurities were ripped open again and the painful emotions resulting from your experiences that you had repressed were reactivated. However, you thought your essential other was doing this to you, but his behaviour and his own repressed traumas were exactly what was needed to help you heal and vice versa. And so began the unimaginable process in which you were completely thrown back on yourself and in which love turned out to be not just love.

Trigger after trigger got to you, to such a fierce degree that you thought you couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't explain how such deep love could produce such an ugly story. You wanted to break free from the other person, but you couldn't. You tried to seek help to free yourself from what was happening to you, but beyond temporary relief, this too was futile. You thought you were going mad. It is impossible to disconnect. There are no techniques to detach from the other person. A spirited inner process has started that you will successfully go through, even if you die 1,000 deaths, even if you think you won't make it, even if you think it will go on endlessly and never end, let alone break through.

You are the protagonists and this brings with it a responsibility, because what you work out within the connection is also healed on a collective level. The most intense themes are worked out. There is no one outside the two of you who can free you, there is no one who can make sure you don't have to go through the process. At most, there are people around you who, through their reactions, are a gauge of the progress you and your essential other are making in this process. The less you are in your confidence, the more negative reactions you get and the more reservations people have about it. The more you connect with the love you feel internally despite everything, the quieter the people around you become and the more they refrain from interfering, at most positively.

We have not yet reached the final stage of this process. And of course, not everyone is at the same point. Everyone goes through their own story, but the common thread is the same and at some point you too will go through all these stages if you are not already. Gaining insight and a wider perspective being handed to you that lets you see beyond the pain and tearing you experience, however, is most welcome.

Many still regard feeling emotions as a weakness, a sign that you can be walked over. Therefore, emotions are often repressed and one's own feelings are denied. After all, you need to stand strong and be able to hold your own in this world. Feeling is still all too often seen as secondary to logic. But no matter how mental you are or have learned to be, love finds its own way. It flows through all barriers sooner or later. After all, love is not simply a feeling, it is a measure of consciousness, it is life energy. And the Kundalini is the glue that holds everything together within this no-holds-barred connection. Even if you were totally ignorant and totally shielded from anything to do with feeling, love finds its way.

FILMS

There are two films that depict this very nicely. The 2002 film "Equillibrium" with music by my favourite group U2 is about a society that has eliminated war by imposing a ban on human emotions. People are obliged to use a drug that suppresses all emotions. There is even a death penalty for having emotions. Anything that can evoke emotions is also banned, such as music, poetry, sex, etc. Emotion offenders are tracked down and destroyed. The protagonist accidentally forgets to take his dose one day and then he experiences long-forgotten emotions again. He decides to structurally stop taking his injections and then he gets a visit from love. He gets feelings for a woman who has always kept her feelings.

There is a newer version of this movie: "Equals". This film can be viewed on Netflix. "In a futuristic utopian future, people live together in a collective (the Collective), where residents have been bred to be peaceful and unemotional with each other and the equals (peers) are called. Life there is perfect because there is no poverty, crime, or greed. A woman, Nia and a man, Silas discover that they have feelings for each other that they cannot immediately place. This is thought to be due to a new disease that activates hitherto unknown feelings such as depression, sensitivity, anxiety and love. Their only chance of survival is to flee together."

These films show that love cannot be suppressed and that even the memory of love, can revive it. When you meet your essential other, there is a sense of recognition. You know something magical has come your way, but you can't grasp it. Slowly but surely, the veil is removed that has created fear of love. This is what we experience, this is what we go through. We become more conscious and we open our hearts, we greet ourselves and the other. We become one!

EQUILIBRIUM

EQUALS