You are much more than you think you are, and the attention you start paying to yourself now will help you detach from a perception of yourself with which you are selling yourself short, without really being aware of it. We identify with the three primary aspects of ourselves, body, thoughts and emotions. These three aspects are different expressions of consciousness and these domains are touched by the connection to undergo the necessary purification and change, allowing you to stand in your power and your truth.

Identity is the condition within which you perceive yourself as an individual. This perception of yourself is shaped by the ego. The ego needs to be able to compare itself to others to achieve expansive growth. This is because you cannot experience one condition without the opposite component. So the ego causes you to constantly compare yourself with others and this is necessary to achieve universal consciousness, because oneness cannot experience itself. This growth and expansion can only come about through observing polarities: black needs white, good needs evil, masculine needs feminine and so on. And let that be precisely what intensively illuminates the connection with that essential other.

The dance between the masculine and feminine components that together form a unity on a soul level starts to eventually unite and balance the forces and gifts in relation to each other, so that this can be expressed for the benefit of the shift in consciousness in this world. So you are actually invited to welcome the process by which opposites are united into oneness by first experiencing them intensely and recognising the attachments you have built up in your life and then releasing them, so that you get a clear sense of who you are and what this connection means. The perception of the separateness between you and your essential other allows you to lighten yourself, to free yourself from that which hinders you, to eventually be able to recognise the connection as oneness, because you can see that your energy is ultimately complementary.

Your personality structure is shaped by everything you identify with and everything you are attached to. Through our upbringing, we come to identify certain beliefs, norms and values, also as a part of ourselves. This is because when you identify with a thought, the thought becomes a part of you. If you identify with a person, you become that person. This is how attachments to persons, animals, things, etc. arise. When something is threatened that you identify with, you get an extreme emotional reaction, because you subconsciously think that your personal survival is threatened. This happens automatically. It is an unconscious reaction, fuelled by your accumulated fears, because you cannot yet discern who you really are yourself.

The encounter with your essential other ensures that these unconscious patterns, become conscious and can be replaced by authentic self-expression that results in embodying your truth. After all, it is these identification patterns that stand between you, but they also stand between you and yourself. On a soul level, you have recognised each other, but in this earthly reality, there is so much standing between you that you also regularly repel each other. In fact, it is the apparent realities that have been accepted as truth that are repelled. The other does not repel you, but repels the part in himself that he does not want to face and vice versa the same happens, but from a different approach. When you can feel this, then you can also put the feeling of rejection within a different perspective. YOU are not rejected and you do not reject the other person..... a deep purification and healing is underway.

The connection makes you feel very good on the one hand, but this also implies that you will irrevocably have to deal with opposite feelings, because the positive feelings and emotions carry the germ of the opposite emotion: the feeling of dignity also carries the energy of unworthiness, the feeling of excitement carries the energy of disappointment, the feeling of intense love, also carries the germ of intense fear......

When you start to see that you don't have to take the dynamics between you and your essential other as personal rejection and that everything is an experience and not who you are, then you become whole. By allowing your emotions, you heal. By not being too hard on yourself, you heal. By expressing yourself without fear of driving the other person away, you whole. There is nothing you can do to scare the other person away, that fear and insecurity are in the person themselves. By acting in your unique natural way, you whole. You are not your ego and you are not your individual self. There is more.... What you can see in your essential other is what you are NOT, and at that point misinterpretation of the dynamics of mirroring often takes place, unfortunately stagnating your own energy because you identify with what the other person says or does. You may take it too personally and cannot always see it as the story the other person is connected to. Mirroring consists precisely of highlighting the contrasts made up of false truths such as identification pictures, authority pictures, etc. This filter can be removed by experiencing it so that you see your true core, your peaceful self, your basic value. The connection with your essential other guides you to a healthy portion of self-love, because you recognise yourself, free from the false layers you thought you had to hold on to in order to be accepted and survive. The pretence layers you think are you. The connection helps you stand in your truth of this moment and the moments to come. Conversely, the other person undergoes this same process of awareness.

When you can finally turn the focus primarily on yourself and not so much on the other person's doings, it is the sign that you are on your way home and no longer identify with the other person's make-believe reality or identification strategy. There are as many realities as there are people. So truths are not necessarily the same on various levels. Truths can even appear contradictory at different levels, but in the end it is all true, as long as you can practice it from the alignment with which that truth is connected. The contradiction that you experience within this connection is that on a soul level, in your inner world, you feel this intense love, but in this physical world you rarely, if ever, get an affirmation of it, and when you do, it just as quickly seems to be out of your reach again. In the end, the highest truth is that we are all 1 and that is the consciousness we are slowly but surely growing towards.

Be willing to meet yourself, stripped of all the layers that suppress your unique self. Encourage yourself and others to do the same and make the most of yourself. To do so, you may at your pace detach yourself from identification with your false self... that which you think you are. Free yourself from the frame you have locked yourself in, the frame of your identity. Allow your true self to reveal itself by releasing your resistance to what you feel as much as possible. Be willing to become aware of who you think you are, then you will become detached from it. Try not to push anything away that you are attached to, because that actually reinforces it and then a survival mechanism is activated, because you think a piece of you is being rejected and that hurts.

Be open to yourself and move into your truth of this moment. This process will connect you to a truth hidden deeper within yourself. Meeting your essential other is a sign that nothing needs to stop you from embracing this truth. Wherever you stand now or whatever is going through you, know that you will deeply rediscover yourself in surrender to the way of love!

© Maria Quesada