On 6 April 2005, an intense and heavy process started for me when I met a man in my practice, with whom I felt an inexplicable connection. It was absolutely mutual and he too was overwhelmed by the soul recognition that took place there, as if a dimension unexpectedly opened up, which we had never entered before. A connection that cannot be explained to people who have not experienced it themselves and that often provokes well-meaning advice, which backfires and makes you feel like you are going crazy.
I will never be able to fully describe what happened in my practice that day, but those who have read Dans des Weerziens can get a very good picture of it. In this book, I describe the attraction and repulsion dynamics and at the same time the magic woven into this story to bring you where you can allow your essential self to be. As overwhelmed as I was by a profound feeling of love that made me merge with him on the spot, without knowing what was happening and without being able to resist, I felt torn and broken in the years that followed. So much heartbreak, so much short-circuiting as my mind came into conflict with my heart. Long, long years in which the despair and pain really got way too much for me at times, and I sometimes didn't know how I would be able to hold on any longer and continue functioning.

Sometimes I didn't last either and went completely under. Then the label "burn out", PTSD, or "depression" was stuck on me, but I knew exactly what was happening inside me. A broken heart due to the denial of love, is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. But at the same time, there were the moments when that incredibly deep connection was so palpable that I felt like I had come home, because the love we exchanged with each other was so uplifting that you thought the torment had ended. On the contrary, after the many cliffhangers that preceded the long periods of distance, the story appeared to get progressively worse..... until the decisive low point arrived where our paths parted for good. The point of no return. After 11 years, I came to the point where it was fine and my desire for a coming together had fully resolved itself and it still does, but the final separation of ways proved to be an impossibility, especially for the other person who reaches out at times, only to withdraw again. However, this no longer causes tearing or grief for me and I see it more as a necessary process for the other who may now be guided by an intense inner process in some respect.

Looking back on those years, I still don't understand how I got through it, because I really had to face every deepest fear of myself, but I am still here. Everything I thought I would go mad or couldn't bear happened and none of the expectations I had of love became reality, quite the contrary..... And suddenly I realised that whatever had happened was all relative to the love I could still feel and accept as a part of me. A love that will never pass, without me necessarily linking it to this man's personality. He is free, free from my expectations, but also free from my projection of sadness and pain.

When I realised at some point that the love for myself had to grow bigger than the love for this man, the grieving process began even more intensely and at my deepest nadir that at the same time caused me to come into complete surrender of what was, I decided to ritually complete a phase in my life and invest the love I felt in everything I did. In 2012, I was 7 years on the road at the time, I drew an icon, a heart that for me encompassed everything I had experienced, but above all contained my being energy and the love I had felt and still feel. This is how the well-known logo came into being that you see everywhere you look in all colours and formats: on my books, my CD, my box of Soul Whispers, my website, more often here on this page. In short, everywhere I offer something to support people, you can find my logo.

Since 2012, it has become my company logo and this is copyrighted. I share a lot of myself, but this is so unique to my process and this has such enormous emotional value to me that I have built a restriction on this so that it cannot/may not be used without my permission. All my writing may be freely shared as long as it is accompanied by a source reference.

Because I have not forgotten what the process feels like when you come face to face with yourself, I listen to people going through a similar process and try to support where possible. I am not the expert, I share what I feel and what I know. Here on this website and on my Facebook page 'Soul Whispers by Maria Quesada', people slowly but surely dare to share more about their process. However, my website and Facebook page are not solely or specifically for twin souls, they are meant to offer inspiration, support and insight into difficult life processes and shifts that are taking place, because as I said before, I happen to be the one who gets to do this right now and those for whom my writings and products resonate will undoubtedly find their way here.

My heart logo, represents who I am and what I have learnt over the years!

© Maria Quesada