UPDATE: THE LAWSUIT AGAINST FLORIS MEAT IN CONNECTION WITH THE DEATH OF SEÑA HAS BEEN WON THANKS TO THE EXPERTISE AND RELENTLESS DETERMINATION OF MR.URSULA OVERHOF VAN AVERECHT! I won't get my dearest darling back with it, but there is a piece of justice, because I couldn't just let her gruesome death pass, as if an animal's life doesn't matter..... It does, and how!

She is no more, my buddy, my everything, my beautiful Groenendael girl of only 3.5 years old. I shouldn't feel guilty, I acted out of love for her, I couldn't have known, it should never have happened, but it happened anyway. Seña was unexpectedly and suddenly snatched from life after eating goose meat contaminated with botulism. Goose meat that I had ordered online from the supplier where I had ordered her food all these years, because I wanted the best of the best for her. Goose meat that I fed her piece by piece. She was misdiagnosed when I took her to the DA on that particular Friday night, which meant that the first 24 hours that are so crucial in treating botulism passed. She was hopeless. No one listened to me, because how seriously intuition is taken..... it was not even the season when botulism occurs.

Through my experience, I fear that it may well be the case that even more dogs have died from this cause, but you can't easily make the link yourself or even ever and at all, especially when a vet doesn't think of it himself and the cause of death remains a mystery. I hope to be able to save other people from this grief by sharing my story, so that people can at least be alert and so that the right diagnosis can be made immediately, because if the vet had listened to me and done the right thing right away, Seña and I would still be together now, then she wouldn't have had to go through this horrible agony, then she wouldn't have had to die on her own, because I wasn't allowed to be with her in the vet clinic! And I will have to give this a place, which I absolutely cannot do now.

Seña and I were together 24/7 from the day I got her home. We adored each other. She gave me many a heart twinge because of her speed and inquisitive nature. She protected me, kept me busy, made sure I was outside in nature a lot, she gave me love and her playfulness made for many a fun hour. My black Lola, my adventuress who was so full of life, so curious about everything else life had to offer her, so loyal, so cheerful, so present, so everything I loved with heart and soul. I wanted only the best of the best for her. I wanted to give her a fantastic life. How great the grief, the tearing and the trauma is that I, the very person she trusted most, was the last decisive link in her untimely death, I cannot explain to anyone.

On that particular evening, the last Friday in October, I took her out for a nice walk together. She always loved it, but now I noticed something strange. She walked like an old lady, she did not limp, she did not stumble, but she seemed to find it very hard to put one leg in front of the other. I had not noticed anything about her before, she was playful and lively as always. We walked on, but Seña lay down and looked at me with sad eyes. "What is it honey? Don't you want to walk?" is how I communicated with her. It very soon became clear that she really couldn't take any more, so I lifted her up and walked back home with 28 kilos in my arms. There, she still walked herself up the stairs and immediately lay down. She fell asleep, but when she got up her back body sagged out from under her. She could no longer stand on her hind legs. I did not hesitate for a moment and immediately called the DA. It was weekend, so I had to go to the DA on duty. I was fortunately able to come fairly immediately.

I explained what I had observed and also mentioned the goose meat she had eaten the previous Wednesday. She had only wanted to eat some kibble on Thursday, nothing else. She had been craving grass, lots of grass, but gosh, dogs often have that. No, it had nothing to do with the goose meat. The DA said she had pain in her back, there was no mortal danger, she was not paralysed, because there was still tension on her muscles and she still had reflexes. If no life-threatening condition is diagnosed, then the policy is to offer first aid and let your own DA continue with further treatment. It was said to be a hernia or a pinched nerve. Seña was given 2 syringes to relieve some of the discomfort and I was able to return home. So I had to get through the weekend with her and then on Monday I had to go to my own DA. I was still given painkillers to take home. Seña was dragging herself on the ground with her front paws, she wanted to leave but couldn't walk.

It kept grinding inside me, the goose meat wouldn't let me go. I shared it with people around me, I shared it with Karin, Seña's breeder who was very involved and who has been feeding raw for more than 40 years without any problems, someone I always consulted when it came to Seña's wellbeing and health, because if anyone knows a lot and has a lot of experience it is Karin. No one, but no one who had any doubts about that meat. I was reassured. I don't know why it did cause so much unease for me, there was really nothing strange about that meat except that indefinable feeling inside me. I remembered that the box it was packed in already evoked a strange feeling in me, a black box with the royal coat of arms of Great Britain. The meat itself was also unfamiliar to me. I had never ordered goose meat before, but wanted something different from beef, lamb and goat for a change. I had to get used to the smell and texture of the meat myself. Seña sniffed it the very first time, ignored it, but little by little she ate it anyway. She was not a big eater and sometimes she even ate badly. She ate about 2 ½ kilos of it over a period of 2 weeks, alternating with what she was used to eating and sometimes she needed kibble. But after that last feeding of goose meat, she hadn't wanted to eat anything.

Back home that Friday night, I made us as comfortable as possible. We stayed together in my practice room on the ground floor, so we didn't have to go up and down stairs. I was only allowed to go outside with her so she could do her needs. But Seña could no longer do her needs at all, she could not stand, and at night I observed that her front legs too were no longer working. She could only move her head and tail. She squeaked, so I gave her painkillers. Thankfully, that worked. I contacted an animal osteopath, because this nerve entrapment or hernia was now causing her a lot of pain and now she seemed to be paralysed. It was getting from bad to worse. But she still had her sparkle. If I held a cuddly toy in front of her head she wanted to take it between her teeth and play with it. And so it was Saturday night, after all, I had to wait until Monday to go to my own DA, the weekend DA had said. However, I didn't wait, I couldn't continue to watch this. Friends helped me carry Seña into the car and we left for a veterinary clinic in Belgium, because by now I no longer had much faith in the DA I had consulted on Friday evening.

 

At the veterinary clinic, it soon became clear that Seña no longer showed any reflexes in her abdomen, even her anus muscles were no longer responding, her front legs were no longer responding, her bladder was bursting and she lay there panting heavily from stress on the stretcher. Blood was taken and consulted with a neurologist in Herenthals. Seña had to stay there, she shouldn't now also have a car ride to Herenthals added. "No, you can't! We have never been apart, I can't leave her, that's not good for her, she will be restless," I said in a panic. "Madam, you have to think of Seña, she has to be put on a drip right away. This can also paralyse her respiratory muscles." I was shocked, I had to leave my sweetheart behind and I knew this would also be hugely stressful for her. Wouldn't this also make her sicker then? I still asked if I couldn't stay in the pen with her myself then, people wouldn't be bothered by me. All I wanted was to assist Seña. It was not allowed. With a broken heart, I left her behind. I saw how exhausted she was when I took her to the pen myself. I hugged and kissed her and her little eyes fell shut. That was somewhat of a comfort to me. I could call in the morning and arrange to come and visit her.

There would be testing for Polyneuropathy, Neospora and toxoplasmosis in the meantime. Again, I suggested eating the goose meat. No, that could not have caused these symptoms. Really not? No, no way. "OK, I still want tests for botulism too," he said. "Now is not the time for botulism, but if you want that you can." "Yes, I want that. I couldn't live with it if it turns out that I fed her contaminated food."

On Sunday, Seña seemed to be stable. There was no further deterioration. She was exhausted though, so it was better that I did not come, because if I left then it would bring too much turmoil for her again. With pain in my heart, I stayed away. It cost me an awful lot, I broke down with grief. The night took me too long. I woke up at 6 am feeling incredibly desperate, I had to get to Seña NOW. I even started screaming, I couldn't take it anymore. I would bring her a T-shirt with my scent, at least then she would know I had not abandoned her. Quickly I shot into my clothes and I was not downstairs yet when the phone rang. When I saw it was the veterinary clinic, I didn't want to answer the call. I already knew it, I already knew my world was going to end now, I had felt it, noeeeeeee Señaatje, please tell me it's not true.

 

The DA was puzzled. Seña had suddenly become very restless. She only now appeared to have a fever. The fever kept rising despite the jolt of antibiotics and despite the wet blankets. It kept rising so fast that it became immeasurable. Seña went into shock, turned her eyes, went blind, also had no feeling left in her snout, her breathing slowed and stopped....... Her life spark was extinguished. For an hour and a half, she had fought, but she did not make it. Screaming I ran down the street to my car, it's not true, this can't be true. Help, oh god please help us.

Seña was still warm when I lifted her into the car. I took her home so that her friends and the people who loved her could also say goodbye to her. However, I was advised to take her to the crematorium that same evening. Her body would start decomposing very quickly. But her body remained warm. Only I could no longer recognise the look so typical of her towards me in her open little eyes. Her soul had exited, her body stiff and the blood was already running from her little snout. However, I could not bring myself to take her away again immediately, so I decided to keep her with me for 24 hours. I slept next to her and I was very conscious that this was the last I could physically observe of her. I had to let her go, even though I could not let her go for a long time.

My best mate gave me the greatest gift she could have given me by giving Seña a place in her garden. This gave me a place where I could sit by her grave and cry whenever I wanted. At that time, we did not know the cause of death. The following week, the first three blood results came in. No polyneuropathy, no neospora, no toxoplasmosis. I still had my freezer full of meat left for Seña and since no one had any doubts about the meat, I gave it to whoever wanted it. Karin, Seña's breeder who herself has a brother of Seña as her own dog, took the goose meat.

A week later, Karin sent me a video she made when she took Monkey, Seña's little brother, out for a walk. She had seen something strange. My heart stood still when I saw the clip and the first thing I asked her was, "What did Monkey eat?" It turned out to be the goose meat. I jumped in the car loaded Monkey and went with Karin to the vet, where I told the whole story of Seña. I was restless. Surely this won't be true huh! Monkey was immediately treated appropriately. Immediate antibiotics and the following morning he was immediately admitted to Herenthals where he was immediately flushed. Scans showed nothing, polyneuropathy was assumed and it was very sad that two dogs from one litter had both developed the same symptoms within the space of one week. Monkey initially deteriorated a little, but then improved. Even before he was discharged from the veterinary clinic, because he was stable and should now start rehabilitation, I received Seña's latest blood result: she tested positive for botulism. I said, "So the goose meat after all?" The DA confirmed that, since Seña had not been drinking from stagnant water that had contained a dead animal. Again I cried out. My worst nightmare had come true. I had fed my dog contaminated meat, I had been the determining link that had made Seña go through this and be snatched away from the life she enjoyed so much.

Karin shared my findings with her DA, who confirmed that all the symptoms Monkey had had were indeed associated with botulism. They had not thought of botulism because it was not the time for it and they had not experienced it this way. If this had not happened to Seña and Karin had kept the meat in the freezer for a while longer, Karin too would not have known what had been going on. But now because of Seña's story and my indefinable feeling about the goose meat that had made me request that test anyway, the lump was ready.

I contacted the supplier. He was businesslike, had never had a complaint about the goose meat, but he would have it investigated. However, he had no goose meat left from the same batch as I had been supplied with. The goose meat tested negative. On the advice of the DA in Belgium, blood was still taken from Monkey to prove botulism, but Monkey had already had the antibiotic treatment, he was already rehabilitating and it had just taken too much time. However, his DA confirmed as mentioned earlier that he could relate all the symptoms to botulism.

Monkey is doing well! Seña is no more. I am torn with grief and things are not getting any easier. I constantly wonder how many dogs could have gone through this before, because who thinks of botulism when eating poultry that you note you order from a supplier that normally delivers quality food, at least from what I know. How many owners have been left wondering, "What happened to my dog?" If we had not had all these agreements here, if I had not requested that test against all opinions anyway, it would have remained a mystery forever what had happened here. After all, the other tests would have revealed nothing. It would have been thought that something was wrong genetically, because Monkey and Seña were brother and sister.

Botulism paralyses all nerves. The poison slowly works its way through the body. There were 36 hours between eating the goose meat and the first symptoms. It starts in the hind body and slowly works its way up to the front until it also affects the brain and respiratory muscles. It causes secondary inflammation that exhausts the dog so much that it basically becomes a losing battle. The animals are mega exhausted and become apathetic. The antibiotics are meant to prevent these secondary inflammations. In Seña's case, that didn't happen. Nothing happened for her during those first 24 crucial hours. It was only on Saturday night that she was given antibiotics and went on an infusion.

This is not a plea against feeding raw food, as you can see that even in kibble lethal amounts of certain substances can be found. This story, which took me a lot of effort to write down because everything is still so incredibly painful, is intended to help prevent other dogs from falling victim to this.

I won't get Seña back. We could have been together for so long. I couldn't even say goodbye to her, I had to leave her behind even though I promised her I wouldn't leave her alone. I am traumatised and torn. I don't wish this on anyone. Enjoy your little animals and be alert. We can no longer be sure of anything, because you see I too wanted to give Seña the best of the best. She was my dearest treasure. Rest in peace dear Seña and I hope that by sharing our story further sorrow and tragedy can be prevented.

Maria Quesada